“Oh baby, you can tell me whatever you want. I promise that I won’t get angry!”
You can tell me that you are dying to know what the neighbor looks like naked – for real, because you’ve been imagining it for over six months. You can tell me that you’ve had a crush on your secretary for a year. You can tell me that you got two speeding tickets last month. You can tell me that you forgot to stop at the store tonight on your way home. You can tell me that it irritates you when I cough every night when I’m going to sleep. You can tell me that my bottom side has grown two sizes over the last year.
This is a lie you had better not believe!
She probably will pull this statement out when she believes that she wants an honest opinion from you. But, honestly, she doesn’t want to know that her stomach sticks out way too far in that skin tight dress she wore last night. She can figure that one out on her own. She might be very comfortable with her body and not care that her stomach is a bit bigger than it was six months ago. Or maybe she’s dropping hints that she’s pregnant!
On the other hand she definitely does NOT want to know that the neighbor turns you on or that your secretary is a problem. Unless, of course, you are struggling to stay monogamous and want her help to keep your commitments.
The reality is that she wants an honest opinion if she’s asking but she wants it in the best possible way. And, also honestly, that just might not be possible. Sometimes giving the honest opinion is too much for your partner and gives her more information than she truly wanted.
This is the time to pull out the kid gloves and talk to her kindly, softly and with praise – but not too much flattery! Her BS meter is out and ready to pick up on anything that crosses the red line. She knows you are going to BS her just a little – but it had better stay in the ‘just a little’ range and not well over the top.
Remember that the famous “feminine 6th Sense” isn’t a joke, it’s about body language reading … and she is good at that!
If she asks how she looks in her dress, she already knows! She wants to know what you’re going to say. Sometimes that’s just setting you up for a disagreement when you tell her that maybe the dress is just a bit tight – even though it’s terribly flattering to her figure. She knows that her belly is a bit bigger or that there’s an extra roll that wasn’t there last year – it’s HOW you tell her that counts.
So, yes, you can tell her just about anything – but it’s time to recognize that it’s how you say it that makes all the difference in the world.
You have to work on your skills to understand what is hidden in her subconscious!
Be You, Be Two, Be New!