Working through relationships often requires building trust. This is something that builds over time and not in a matter of one or two conversations. Even though some people will jump into bed with their partners after 2 or 3 dates, this behavior is risky because you havenít known the person long enough to trust them with your body. Short-term pleasure has consistently overridden long-term relationship success for several years.
Instead of following the trend that has had some contribution to the higher divorce rates, try going against the crowd and wait until youíve built trust with your partner to ensure better long-term results.
Long-term trust is built on the small things you do and your partner does every single day. When you do what you SAID you will do every time you say youíll do it you begin to build trust with your partner. Take an interest in what your partner does and enjoys. Doing things to make each of you happy will also grow trust in the person who you are interested in. When your partner knows that you want to do and learn things that make you happy, they understand that you are working toward becoming trustworthy in their eyes.
Be open to new experiences with your partner. Go skiing, bowling, skydiving, rock climbing, take a new class, cook a meal together, go biking or play golf. Do something youíve never done that your partner can teach you and encourage you through. This builds a bond between you that encourages trust to build and grow.
Each of these little goals move you and your partner toward a more stable and secure long-term relationship. A short term relationship success will not encourage long-term success. One of the problems with feeling too close too fast with someone is that the flame often burns out as fast as it ignited. In other words, when you feel close to someone and move the relationship ahead more quickly than normal, those feelings will often disappear.
One or the other of you are likely to get your heart broken when the relationship flames out quickly. Another reason to hold the reins on a fast relationship is so that you both have had the chance to share information that is important to your future. He may have a sexually transmitted disease or she might have a child that lives with their father. His ex-wife could be a bit crazy and her father might be completely over protective. He could have high blood pressure and she could have diabetes. While any of these problems may not cause you to race out the door after youíve gotten to know your partner better, learning it too early can wreck a completely viable relationship.
Building trust comes slowly for good reason. Throwing your heart and soul to someone you don’t know well can easily lead to problems and create issues in your life that you suffer from for years down the road.
Be You, Be Two, Be New