It’s good to know how to be more approachable, but it is also important to know the ways that you put people off before they even meet you.
What makes you more approachable can also create an environment that makes it difficult for people to come up to us and talk.
Here are five of the most important ways we make ourselves unapproachable without even trying.
1. Facial expressions
It’s easy to look angry or ticked off at the end of a long day at the office. When you start playing that conversation with your boss over in your head again, your face shows every aggravation. Your expressions are one of the biggest ways we put people off. Man or woman, exchange that permanent scowl for a friendly smile and an open and engaging face. Remember that the “mirror neutrons” (a scientific theory that your brain fires the same neurones as those that fire in a person’s brain when she does something) of your partner will act the same way as yours. You show aggressiveness …s/he will be aggressive.
2. Eye Contact
Flirting starts with the eyes and ends with a conversation. Men will approach women when they give them the idea that the man won’t be struck down in his tracks by a barrage of foul language or kneed in the proverbial groin. Not that most women would be inclined to actually raise a knee in public, but the verbal castration that men endure when they approach a woman who wasn’t in the mood can be almost as painful.
If you want to be approached, be sure you are approachable when he gets there. Women who don’t look in the direction of the man, never meet his gaze, never look up from their phone, drink or friends, will never be approached because he never really ‘saw’ her.
3. Diva Attitude
Most men can ‘smell’ a diva from 20 yards. If you think you are, want to be or have ever been called a diva then you are giving off the scent of one who will not be approached. The man who will go after the diva is the one who has only one thing in mind, and that’s sex. Once he’s gotten what he wants he’ll high tail it out of there, never to be seen again.
4. Friends Galore
Going out to a public place can be difficult alone or with just one friend. Sometimes you are meeting multiple friends for an evening of laughter and fun. If there is one man who has caught your eye and you’re interested in a conversation before you leave, then it’s time to separate yourself from your pack.
The man who approaches one woman surrounded by her friends is pumped with alcohol, self-confidence or just doesn’t care to give his very best. Although they are a comfort zone in a strange place, multiple friends are also the best deterrent you can use if you don’t want to be approached.
5. Flirty Flirty
Flirting is fun. Flirting is even necessary to create an atmosphere of tension and chemistry. But, too much flirting can just send your guy packing. A woman who is flirting with every guy in the room just has a sign around her neck that says she is open for business.
Men want to know that you were discriminating when you chose them. They aren’t interested in being chosen because they were the closest or were the one that got the attention of the woman who is flirting with everyone.
Chose one guy to flirt with. If he’s not interested or interesting, then move on.