Eugenio Marongiu / Shutterstock
Hands up if you have hundreds of matches on dating apps who you’ve never spoken to. It’s a pretty common habit, and probably the result of just having too much choice.
But according to Erika Ettin, relationship coach and the founder of dating site A Little Nudge, this is just one of the many ways we are doing ourselves a disservice when it comes to looking for love.
Ettin spoke to Business Insider about all the ways you’re going wrong on your dating app profiles, and what you should do instead to help you find “the one.” They aren’t rules, rather tried and tested methods that work.
“You’ll find an exception to every rule, but my background is analytical, and I’m an analytical person,” Ettin said. “So if something works 99% of the time, that’s what I’m going to recommend. You’ll always find the 1% and that’s fine, but I’d rather give you a better chance.”
Most of the mistakes are surprisingly simple — scroll down to see how many you’re guilty of.
1. Not writing a bio rawpixel.com/Unsplash
You might think that not writing anything on your profile makes you look aloof and mysterious. In reality, you just look boring, and you’re giving your potential matches too much of a reason to swipe left (left meaning no thanks).
“It doesn’t matter how attractive you look in your pictures, if you haven’t written a single word then people question what the heck you’re doing on there,” Ettin said. “So it doesn’t take much. I only recommend 20-40 words on a dating app. 20 words is not that many, and you can write anything.”
You can write a couple of words about what you do for a living, two truths and a lie, a few bullet points — it doesn’t matter. Literally anything is better than no words at all.
2. Just writing your height Halay Alex / Shutterstock
This is one of Ettin’s pet peeves. Some men think women are just after a man over a certain height, which isn’t true at all.
“When men only list their height, it’s as if that’s the only thing to offer in this world,” Ettin said. “I’m sure some people who care about height are appreciative of that, but seriously is that the only thing? It’s insulting! Like, wow he’s a catch, he’s 6ft tall, but maybe he was in jail last year.”
3. Too many pictures Christopher Furlong/Getty Images
Just because an app allows you to upload a certain amount of photos, this doesn’t mean you should. According to Ettin, four or five is the optimum.
“People have a tendency to look through every picture and find one they don’t like, and then dismiss you because of that one,” she said. “I would never put more than five pictures. It’s enough. People can see what you look like.”
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