When faced with conflict in your home, your work or with your partner, there are several strategic skills that, when used, will help you resolve conflict so that you built trust and confidence in the relationship. While you might think that these characteristics are important only on the job, they are also very important in the home and with your partner. When your partner trusts and respects you, it improves the relationship and deepens the bond between.
The first skill you must learn is to destress and look at the situation from outside yourself. This helps you to stop from becoming emotionally overwhelmed and to make strong decisions quickly. Learning to destress in a stressful situation requires that you practice in other situations. You must practice learning to reduce your stress when you aren’t being stressed. Most people respond well to a sensory trigger to de-stress, such as a scent, sound, taste, smell or touch. Think about music, deep breathing, sniffing peppermint or other scent that is soothing to you.
The next skill is to recognize when your emotions are beginning to escalate and learning how to manage them. This is emotional awareness, which is difficult and challenging. Keep a notebook and learn to check in with yourself several times a day. Write down how you are feeling at the time. This simple exercise will help you to learn to recognize your emotions as they occur and then manage them because before you can manage something you have to recognize that it’s happening.
Your third skill is to improve your nonverbal communication. Nonverbal communication is your body language, or what others learn about you from the way you act, your fascial expressions and the way you hold your arms. When someone asks if you are mad, and you say no – do you get the response back that they know you’re lying? This is probably because they’re reading your body language and know that you’re mad. When you are in the middle of a conflict watch your partnerís body language carefully. When they are angry it is better to offer a reassuring touch, calm voice and concerned face than it is to get angry right along with them.
And the last skill it’s important to learn is to use humor. At the start of any conflict you can diffuse it quickly using humor and visit the situation without angry – increasing the potential for successful resolution. This does NOT mean that you laugh at the other person or smirk at their behavior. It means that you can use self-deprecating humor or say something that you both might find humorous in your relationship.
Practice these skills to help you resolve more conflicts successfully without hurt feelings.
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