[:en]Having a strong and stable relationship is the goal of most men and women who have come to a time in their life that they want to get married and start their own families. However, those strong and stable relationships don’t happen all by themselves. In order to build a relationship that stands the test of time you’ll need patience and a lot of it. Having patience also means giving up the dream of finding the perfect man or woman, or living in a fantasy world. No one of us is perfect.

You aren’t perfect and the person you are dating isn’t either.

When you can give up that dream you’ll find you have a much better chance to develop a relationship built on trust and truth.

Inside of any relationship you won’t, and shouldn’t, get your way 100% of the time. If you think you will, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and failure. Healthy relationships are built on compromises, give and take, and sometimes, more giving than taking. It’s at this point that you must have patience with your partner and yourself. We each make mistakes and when you can admit to yours, acknowledge theirs and move on, you are one step ahead of the game.

Recognize what is important to your partner and communicate clearly that what is important to them is important to you. Of course, it’s also important they acknowledge what is important for you too.

Relationships are a two way street that requires both partners to travel that journey together.

When you making winning every argument, disagreement or discussion your goal it will be difficult, if not impossible, to reach a compromise that works for each of you. If you think you have this attitude, or others have told you that you do, it’s time to get some help to determine why you do this and fix the issue. Sometimes it stems from not having your own needs met when you were a child. However, you aren’t a child any longer, so it’s time to stop relying on that explanation.

Resolving conflicts respectfully requires patience. Any relationship – even one with your dog! – will have conflicts. You must practice patience to be sure your partner has been heard and your concerns have been expressed as well – without angry words. Your goal is to resolve the conflict but not win the argument. Don’t attack your partner by saying what they did wrong – instead, tell them how you feel.

Use “I” statements to communicate how you are feeling and not “you” statements to tell them what they’ve done wrong.

Be You, Be Two, Be New

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