[:en]Is He or She Inspired to do What You Want?[:]

[:en]Here’s the cold hard truth.

People only do what they are inspired to do, or want to do.

Nothing you can do or say will make someone do something they don’t want to do. You might be able to convince someone, but only if they have the inclination in the first place. So the trick is to help someone figure out that they want something or inspire someone to do what you want.

Men and women are just a bit different in this area and so your approach will depend upon whether you’re the guy or the girl who wants the other to commit to you.

The definition of commitment can be anything from exclusivity to a proposal of marriage and anything in between. Men are more likely to live without an agenda or by a timeline, while women are more likely to start thinking about an exclusive relationship at about 3-4 months. This doesn’t mean that all men think one way and all women the other.

If you’re the guy who wants the woman to commit to you, then you’re in the better position because it’s usually the man who proposes this exclusivity or marriage. If you’ve asked and she just isn’t ready or doesn’t want to consider it, then you might either wait a bit longer or resign yourself to the idea that she might never be ready. But again, because you’re the guy, it’s more likely you’ll get a response if you just ask.

Simply ask her if she’s just isn’t interested in an exclusive relationship, or if she just doesn’t want one with you. Although you might assume that all women are seeking marriage, you might be surprised to find that there are a number of women who are not interested in marriage until they’ve achieved their goals in life. And, it wouldn’t matter if you were a prince or a king – she just isn’t ready.

If the shoe is on the other foot, or rather you’re the woman wondering if this relationship is leading to an exclusive relationship, the situation is a bit different. In the first place, most men aren’t open to conversations about anything that remotely smells of emotions. You can either be more subtle and hope he picks up the hint, or you can be forthright and just ask.

In either case, you’d better be ready for the response he could give. If he hasn’t brought it up then he may not be interested, doesn’t know how to broach the subject, or is more focused on other aspects of his life and hasn’t even considered the possibility. If it’s one of the last two then he may grateful that you brought it up and you have a chance that the conversation will go just the way you want. If it’s the first, then the possibility exists that he just isn’t ready or just isn’t interested.

The hard part is hearing “no” and realizing that what you might want may not ever come to pass.

But the other realization is that there will be someone else and you will get what you want . . . just maybe not the one you thought.[:]