How to stop the crazies

In any relationship there can come a time when neither partner understands the motivations of the other, nor the comments that ensue.

This is when the relationship seems to go on a merry-go-round of CRAZY. It’s as if neither of you can stop the arguments, disagreements, poorly chosen words and bad actions. You fight, argue, disagree, break up and get back together. But, nothing seems to work.

Unfortunately, there are times when the words of the woman are completely misunderstood by the man and misspoken by the woman. In her head she is trying to accomplish one thing and coming out of her mouth is something completely different. She has every desire in the world to care for her man and help him to become the man she knows he can be. On the other hand, every time she opens her mouth she says something that sounds disrespectful in his ears.

Don’t worry, you are just like everyone! Your brain is configured in a specific way when it comes to handle communication. Well, the bad news is that female and male brains are wired in a very different way when it comes to language handling and this is what screwed up human couple relationships for ages!

And here are the crazies in a relationship. It can be related to how we interpret what the other person is saying and whether or not we feel loved by our partner. If they aren’t speaking our particular love language AND we feel disrespected it can be a very bad combination that doesn’t have a good ending.

When men understand that a woman needs to love her man, he can potentially change how he interprets what she’s saying. Instead of believing that she is being disrespectful, he might be able to understand that she wants to help him improve. On the other hand it might be that what she’s saying is rooted in her empty love tank. She could be lashing out, hoping for some kind of reaction that at least confirms you still have a stake in the relationship.

Granted, this is NOT the way to get attention, but sometimes it can feel like it’s the last way possible. She may have been asking that you show her some attention and show her that you love her, but you may not have responded or understood the depth of her pain. Men understand the need for respect but don’t always get the need for love.

On the flipside, a woman who understands that her man needs respect will be better able to understand that her husbandís negative attitude about showing her love is rooted in his feelings of disrespect and dishonor.

When each of them can understand the root causes behind the actions of the other they have a better chance of making the relationship work, and work well.

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