Trust is unique in that it takes weeks, months and even years to develop and build but can easily be broken in seconds. It takes only seconds for a husband to tell his wife that he’s been using pornography, dating his secretary or squirreling away thousands of dollars in preparation for a divorce. It takes only seconds for a wife to tell her husband they’ve been spending money and racked up credit card debt or have been having an affair with their boss.
The way to grow a strong relationship is by growing the trust between you. And, the way to deepen the trust is to be honest with your feelings and sharing information with each other. Trust is built when you can predict the other person’s reactions and actions and can rely on them to do what they say and what’s right.
When friends and partners share their feelings the bond between you grows deeper and stronger.
This deeper bond is fueled by the release of hormones and neurotransmitters in your body and brain that make you feel good about the other person and indicate that you can probably trust them with your own deep feelings. Sharing information about your life and work has the same effect, although just a bit more dilute than sharing feelings.
By the way you are wired in a way that makes you share information about yourself only with people you trust.
Imagine your partner shared an important piece of their past with you and made themself vulnerable. This vulnerability is triggered through the belief that they can trust you with their feelings and emotional health. And, while you feel good that they trusted you, it also indicates to you that you might also be able to trust them with similar information.
As you work to build this relationship over time remember to share your experiences, your childhood memories and your feelings about the world around you.
When you can do that, in the safety of your relationship, it builds a stronger bond. However, if you don’t feel that your partner is trustworthy, then sharing those feelings and experiences can leave you open to ridicule and pain.
You have to start learning more about you and how you can trust the other person. Your relationships’ quality start with you: learn more here.
Be You, Be Two, Be New
Thomas[:]
