Men are simple creatures. Women have a difficult time understanding this simple little fact.
They think that men are as complicated and complex as they are. And, because women are complex, it’s difficult to accept that men are not. Instead, they are simple creatures who thrive on three different factors in their life.
They measure themselves, their lives, their relationships on who he is, what he does in his life and how much he makes. That’s it – those three simple factors will make a man happy or dissatisfied. He measures his life by those factors. He’ll start a relationship only when those 3 factors are lined up and ready to go.
This goes ages back, when men were still hunters who’s role was to make sure the tribe got enough to survive. Food = survival, no food = death. Simple. As studies have demonstrated our brain hasn’t evolved since the cave age and as such, male and female brains still act in the “cave” way!
Back to our man’s stuff. Because he’s simple he needs rules. Those rules will guide his actions and his day. That’s where you come in. You provide the rules that guide his actions which show his appreciation for who you are. You will want him to know about you through the rules, but by sharing them gently and softly. You don’t want to say, “Hey! A guy who shows up late shouldn’t show up at all.” Instead, you can say, “I know that we are all busy. I really appreciate a man who shows up when he says or calls to let me know when he can’t make it.”
You know it’s easier to catch flies with honey than with vinegar. The same is true with your rules.
When he understands what it takes to make you happy he can follow along. If he chooses not to follow your rules, then you know that he is interested in just one other thing. If he doesn’t have to follow the rules and still gets you in bed, there is no need to show you any appreciation – ever. On the other hand, if he knows the rules and sticks around it’s because he’s a real man and interested in a real relationship.
Men are bad guessers because not all women are the same. Most men have the same needs and desires, but women are more complex. Some women are just fine if their guy is late, others have a seizure if he’s more than 30 seconds later than promised. You don’t need to have the same rules as the other women in his life – but it is important that you do have rules.
When he recognizes that there is a price to be with you, he’ll appreciate the fact that you are in his life. When he appreciates you he’ll be able to show it to you.
Now, to get him to show you how much he appreciates you being in his life, you gently let him know that there is a price to be paid to be in your life. You may want doors opened for you, to be on time, to go out to dinner a couple times a month, to see him 3 times a week, to be treated like a lady, to respected or all of the above.
It doesn’t matter what YOUR rules are, only that you have a set of priorities in your life.