Body language is unconscious. Unless you stay consistently aware of the tilt of your head, where your eyes land or the movements of your hands, you’ll give away certain signals. These signals have been researched, categorized and studied for years. Here is how to tell from your partner’s body language whether or not he’s telling the truth the next time you’re having a ‘discussion.’
Keep in mind that the brain WILL send out unconscious messages through the body and especially through the face. These signals are called micro-expressions and have been studied by Paul Eckman.
People more commonly lie for one of three reasons, and your man is not different. They may be trying to hide something from you, like if they went to the gym instead picking up the groceries and then said they forgot. Liars will sometimes want to hurt you, like when your coworker sabotages your work. Or your partner may want to build himself up in your eyes. There are other reasons that people lie, but these are the most common categories.
1. When someone is telling a lie their face will be less animated than if they’ve been telling the truth. This is easier to spot when you know the person well. But watch for signs that their face is not working in concert. If they are smiling it should extend to the eyes as well. Some people may have increased eye movement and others will be aware that darting eyes will give away their lie and be careful to keep their eyes steady and blink less than normal.
2. Hand movements toward the face and mouth can indicate that he’s lying. Rubbing his eyes, pulling on his ear lobes or putting his hand near his mouth will indicate that he’s lying. Lying will also increase the amount of histamine your body releases and cause your nose to itch.
3. Many times God’s name will come up in the conversation. In an effort to cover their lie with some degree of authenticity they may say, “God, no” or “As God as my witness!” Someone who takes God’s name seriously won’t use it in this context, but someone trying to cover up something will.
4. Deny this! Men are trying to cover a lie will quickly chime in with ‘Trust me!’ or ‘Honestly!’ when they aren’t being honest at all. A man who is being honest won’t feel the necessity of being sure you know he’s honest because he knows he is and expects that you will too.
5. When men are lying they can start to talk faster or vary their speech rate within just a few sentences. Sometimes the speech pattern is slower as they try to figure out what they’re going to say next. As they are telling this lie the tone in their voice will go up. When their baritone is suddenly cracking, he may be lying.
6. All of us have micro-expressions (see above) that flash across our face without our knowledge or control. The one that points out the lie is contempt. When your man is sure he’s justified his lie or gotten away with it, you might see a fleeting contemptuous expression cross his face. A smirk or that flash across his eyes and you know he’s slipped up.
7. If he’s really good at lying you’ll find that he makes you feel off balance. He can distort the truth and distort your own reality; so much so that you start to question why you’re asking him these questions in the first place.
If you are a generally honest person you tend to trust easily but can also spot when someone isn’t telling the truth.
Listen to your gut, it’s telling you the truth. Because what people call the “gut feeling” is in fact your brain analysing EVERY single signal subconsciously. And your brain is a fantastic lie detector.