Flirting comes naturally to some and others have to practice a bit to get the art of flirting down to a science. But no matter which camp describes you be assured that you do flirt. You just may not know that you do.
In many cases our different flirting styles are dependent upon several factors. One is the culture in which we grew up. Another factor is our gender and still another is our own personal style.
When you are a foreigner in a strange land or you are flirting with a person who isnít naturally from your culture, beware! For some, the subtle rules of flirting vary so much that a foreigner may be unsure if you are courting them or insulting them! Be aware of the differences in the different cultures of the people with whom you come into contact.
Some of the generalizations used to describe different cultures donít always hold true. That’s why they are only generalizations and not hard, fast truths. The British aren’t necessarily boorish; the French may not flatter; the Scandinavians may not be cool and the Italian may not want to get initimate.
An interesting fact about our gender is that most men don’t pick up on the subtle cues of flirting that many women have become adept at delivering. When asked if they recognize these cues they can’t name them or recognize them but interestingly they are able to respond to them. So when that male from across the room comes over to chat for a few moments he probably isn’t coming under his own steam but responding to the understated body language he is reading in the woman he’s approaching. There is way more about the way men and women use body language in the “Is there a Brain in Your Couple Book“.
When you’re flirting online those subtle cues aren’t always as subtle but they don’t need to be blatant either. Subtlety and light hearted conversation are the hallmarks of flirting. The same is true for online relationships.
For instance, one way of translating this technique online is for women to state in their profile that they don’t approach men. Then they log into their account and look around the online site. The men they visit will know they’ve been there. They have the option of checking out the woman’s profile before deciding if they want to approach her.
Personal style is another factor that plays into your own style of flirting. There are three basic styles, with variations on each of these. The first style is a man or woman who relies of wit and humor to carry across their personality to their potential date. They are funny and humorous but also take advantage of their ability to communicate their sexuality in a distinctly understated manner. Women won’t be showing too much cleavage but you’ll know it’s there.
The second flirting style are the buddies. They are buddies to their guy or gal friends. The women are knowledgeable about football and the guys can help choose wine or make a pot roast with the best of them. They are indispensable in our relationships. They don’t play the usual games that men and women play but they also don’t end up being one of the girls, or guys.
And the third flirting style are the sexy flirts. These are the devastating divas or hunks who harness their sexuality and use it! Women walk on heels and match their bras and panties. Men never go out in sweats unless they are designer and they see a hair stylist not a barber.
People find these flirts attractive and their physical appearance doesn’t really matter. They make the object of their conversation feel attractive and wanted. And that can take a person very far!
Sometimes this type of flirting goes a bit too far when women make enemies of other women or you are vulnerable to embarrassment if the flirting isn’t working. Men and women who rely on seduction can get focused on one goal and forget the big picture. Don’t lay it on thick, use a soft touch and back off when you want to go full steam ahead. This can make you even more powerful.
Tell me now, what is your flirting style?
Be You, Be Two, Be New,