Don’t Assume

Your relationship with your partner must be built on reality and not on assumptions.

Unfortunately, too often our relationships are just the opposite – built on assumptions and being taken for granted instead of what really is happening between you. One of the tips to a strong relationship is keeping your eyes open and focused on the present time and not on what has happened, might happen or could happen in the future.

As you and your partner are in a relationship, over time things can also get a bit predictable or boring. And, if you think that they are predictable, it’s highly likely that they think the same thing about you. While it can be comforting to know the person you’re with and be able to predict how they’ll react to specific types of information, it’s also nice to know that they can surprise you once in a while; and that you can surprise them.

Act a little out of character – not the point that they wonder who has invaded your body – but enough of a change that they are intrigued and you are still operating within your own character limits.

In other words, you would probably not suggest robbing your neighbors as an exciting date, but you could consider bungy jumping, rock climbing or hiking through the local park. These might be activities you wouldn’t normally do on a date or during the month, but they are things that will engage you both in a way that you haven’t before. Unless of course, you already do these things every week – then maybe dinner and movie will be shaking it up a bit!

Another obstacle that can be challenging when you’ve been in a stable relationship for months or years is that you become each other’s best friend.

Although it is important that you ARE best friends, you should also be lovers.

Best friends are there for each other in good times and bad. Lovers also spend time and energy figuring out how to turn each other on and keep the spark alive between them. Although you may be searching for activities you can do on dates to keep the spark going, don’t forget to look for those same activities in the bedroom.

You don’t want to move outside of your comfort zone, or ask your partner to. But, there are plenty of things you can do behind closed doors that don’t require either of you to do that.

However, it does require that you both talk with each other, communicate your needs and desires and consider what the other person wants without discounting it out of hand.

Be You, Be Two, Be New

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