There are times when people enter into a relationship with false hopes. They may believe that their partner is honest when they say that they want to be in a committed relationship. However, somewhere throughout the relationship that partner changes their mind and decides that perhaps a long-term, fully committed relationship is not for them. This can lead to a great deal of frustration and unhappiness. The person that is committed will begin to think that they are just wasting their time in the relationship and that it will go no where and nothing will be gained. People that cannot commit may have this problem for a variety of reasons.
The number one reason that people cannot commit is due to an emotional issue which could be something in their past.
You have to understand that your brain builds a “vision” of the present based on current emotions and past ones. This has a direct influence on how you perceive reality as well as how you use the past to act in the present.
Back to the reasons people cannot commit. This could be something that has caused them emotional damage. They cannot get past this bad experience and they may have fear about trying to deal with this and get over it. They cannot trust anyone, especially within a relationship as long as they have these feelings and this hurt that they are harboring. The past must be dealt with before a person can ever have a meaningful relationship or a future with anyone. If this is not done, there will be continual hurt and pain that will manifest itself into any relationship they enter into. They have to change the way their memory of that past event is stored in their brains.
The memorisation process follows the M=ExR formula where M stands for memorisation, E for emotion and R for repetition. If the emotion was very strong R can be equal to 1 (see what you remember of Sept 11).
Other people that do not commit are merely involved in a relationship as a way to have someone in their life while they are searching for something better or more suited for them. They are always looking at members of the opposite sex even when they are in a relationship. They do not care if their partner is with them or sees them doing it.
This type of behavior is extremely disrespectful and despicable for anyone. These types of people do not feel that they are with the person that they belong with. However, they are settling for a lesser relationship until they find something better that comes along in front of them.
People of this type should be avoided at all costs by those looking for a committed relationship. These people are truly afraid of commitment. People that desire that lasting relationship and find themselves with a person afraid of or unwilling to commit, they may find that they are unhappy, brokenhearted, and that they are always disappointed by their mate. These commitment seeking individuals have to make a decision as to whether they want to continue to stay with the person they are with or end the relationship and cut their losses.
Sometimes, the easiest way to know where a relationship will go is to be up front from the very beginning. Before you get seriously involved in a relationship, spend some time with the prospective partner. Talk between yourselves and be open and honest. Find out how both of you feel about a possible long-term relationship and about a commitment. This can prevent any false hopes or problems later on with confusion over what the relationship involves.
Be You, Be Two, Be New[:]