One way is to learn a new skill in your life. The funny thing about our brains is that they don’t multitask well. Even though you think you can talk and drive at the same time, once the roads become icy and treacherous you often stop talking or listening to the radio and concentrate fully on the road. It isn’t that you can’t drive and talk at the same time, it is just that driving has become ingrained in your memory. You just “know” which way the turn signal bar goes when you are turning left or right. You don’t have to “think” about pressing on the brake when you hit a red light. These are ingrained memories.
Female and male brains do cope with multitasking in different ways and it is scientifically “accepted” that female brains seem to multitask better thanks to a larger corpus calossum – the part connecting both hemispheres.
Learning these new skills engages your brain and keeps it occupied.
This is one way of distracting yourself and keeping the day moving forward – learning a new skill while grieving for a lost love. As you are learning this skill your brain isn’t able to focus on your pain, but instead focuses on learning the new skill, developing new neuron connections. Although it is very important that you go through the process of grief and not around it – it is also important that you get through each and every day.
You might want to learn how to play chess, put together puzzles, play backgammon, repair your own appliances or go fly-fishing. Look at the classes in your local area to see which will take up your evening hours. This will enable you to socialize with others in your class and learn a new skill at the same time. Life is filled with lots of new surprises and experiences that you can enjoy when you get out of the house.
In your search for something to learn, you may want to get outside. Under the warm sun your body absorbs more vitamin D and improves your emotional and mental wellbeing. This lift in spirits, even for the short-term will help you cope with the feelings of grief and loss that you are experiencing. Ideally you should do this with a friend or close relative because the goal is to come back from an adventure feeling refreshed and uplifted.
Doing this type of activity can result in more introspective thought than enjoying the beauty and majesty of nature, so doing it alone may not be the best decision.
Learn how to hike a steep trail, mountain climbing, rappelling, tennis, golf or any other of the numerous outdoor activities that require a bit of skill and learning.
You’ll distract your mind, engage your brain and get healthier – all with one activity!