Many men will say that women hold all the cards when it comes to dating and many women will say exactly the opposite. Who is right? It all depends on perspective. From a woman’s perspective she must capture the man’s attention to encourage him to pursue her. From a man’s perspective he may pursue her and then be rejected. So how can you get him to pursue you and let him know that you’re interested without playing games with his mind or his pocketbook?
The art of being mysterious seemed to fade away with the death of old Hollywood films. Suddenly, the women’s movement opened up whole new vistas for women to pursue but left them striving to compete like a man in a man’s world. That doesn’t do much for be a mysterious woman while encouraging a man to be interested in you.
Being mysterious engages his curiosity and as humans, we are naturally curious people, we love when contrast triggers our brains. We are drawn to the unknown, which is probably why so many horror films and scary movies are popular. They play on the curiosity and interest that we have in the unknown.
Mystery also plays into the part of our brains that manufacture fantasies. Men begin to imagine all kinds of things about a woman who is mysterious and she’s caught his attention and interest before he’s really had a chance to even get to know her. Men imagine what she might be like, what she’s hiding, what she does and how she does it.
They are driven to solve the secret and discover the woman beneath the veil of mystery. When you use this process right he’ll figure out who you are and will still be interested in pursuing you and developing a relationship with you. Because his brain got hooked by the emotions the discovery implied.
That’s because you don’t ever have to let the mystery fade. Even 20 years into a marriage there are still things that you can do to surprise him and pique his interest once more. And that’s the fire that stokes his interest. It’s his interest that keeps him coming back to you for more and more. This is why it is so important to never stop! If you give up then you will always be the same to him. There won’t be anymore contrast and his brain will ignore you. Not a joyful perspective!
Sometimes shy woman are perceived as mysterious because a confident woman will be expressive at social events, will have good people skills and won’t hide her femininity – all of which is part of being mysterious. But, a confident woman can learn to act mysterious without compromising her confidence and her integrity.
In conversations don’t tell all. In fact, hold back all the juicy details but do it so he knows there is more to tell when you’re ready. Don’t be expansive in your speech but rather use fewer words. Men are used to women who talk a LOT and they have a tendency to tune them OUT. Guess why?
Instead, you be the woman who says less and keeps his attention. Not easy as you need to send 20.000 communication signals per day, while he needs only 7.000!
Being mysterious does not mean acting with superiority. In fact, it’s the opposite of superiority by being humble, yet confident. Your confidence in your mystery inspires desire in your guy and an interest in chasing after you.
You can be mysterious with you guy by doing something different, exposing just a little more of your personality each time you’re together or suggesting an activity he wouldn’t think you’d enjoy. If you normally dress business casual but enjoy rock climbing, then suggest rock climbing for a date, followed by dining at a restaurant neither of you have ever tried.
You might think it’s difficult to be mysterious with someone who already know, but it is just as difficult as you make. It’s time to think outside the box with your relationship. Call him instead of waiting for him to call you. Wait for him to call, instead of always being the one to pick up the phone. Make plans that aren’t what you might normally do. Tell him a secret, but not the whole thing. Tell the rest at another time. He’ll be waiting to hear more and be so grateful that you trusted him enough to tell him.
Mystery really is all it’s cracked up to be. And, with a bit of practice, you can carefully use this strategy to keep him interested and chasing you without ever playing a mind game. But with using his brain to get closer and keep the flame shining!