Infatuation

Some people say it’s the first stage of a relationship and others believe it’s courtship. In either case, infatuation is a time in your romantic relationship when you believe you are in love but are really in lust.

That may sound like a harsh statement, but it’s true. It is different from romantic love and not as deep as committed love. You might be familiar with the symptoms. Your heart flutters and beats harder in your chest when you see the object of your affection or you anticipate seeing them. You think about them during the day when you’re apart, you doodle their name, your behavior is selfless, and include sudden and strong feelings about another person with whom you want a romantic relationship.

All this tricks are played on you by your brain’s chemistry. It makes you a permanent depressive love bird full of sexual energy!

During the time of your relationship you center your likes, dislikes, day and nights around this person. You enjoy the restaurants, movies, games and friends that they do. It will be weeks before you begin to think that maybe the movies aren’t nearly as interesting as you thought or the games are just a bit more boring than you’d hoped.

The time of infatuation is a static process which doesn’t grow and mature. It is a great time to learn more about your partner without being judgmental, which gives someone else a chance with you that they may not have otherwise had.

Again, infatuation is driven by hormones, chemicals and emotions. But, before long, those chemicals balance out and you’ve either moved to romantic love or youíve decided that they just arenít the person youíd once thought they were.

When the relationship brings out the best in each of you it is an infatuation that is worth exploring.

This stage of infatuation doesn’t last forever, although many people will identify these feelings as love. This sets them up for failure as the feelings of infatuation naturally fade and they believe that they have unfortunately “fallen out of love” with their partner. This is especially dangerous when they may have married while still infatuated and can’t make the transition to more romantic love and then committed love within marriage. They may start looking for that feeling with someone else while married, leading to extramarital affairs and divorce. They may repeat the process several times before thinking that they just can’t find the right person or can’t make any relationship work. When, in fact, they are basing their relationship or belief they are “in love” on the feelings of infatuation.

Although fun and an exciting time in your partnership, the following stages of a love are actually more fulfilling, satisfying and engaging than infatuation. During this initial stage you have less stability in the relationship and more uncertainty which can add to the excitement for some but doesn’t help develop a committed relationship until you can move past it.

You can learn HERE how to avoid doing dramatic mistakes that will leave you unhappy for a long time!

Be You, Be Two, Be New,

Thomas

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